Broken Bones
by Tin Gods
Summary: My father never saw the car coming. But I did. I screamed, but he never saw it. I flew threw the windshild. Then...I saw nothing.
1. Chapter One: The Crash

I was seven when I was killed. Only seven. A stupid age to die. I always wanted to live to be a hundred and five, but I knew _that_ wasn't going to happen. But I never wanted to go this way.

My dad was always drinking. I don't think I had ever seen him without a beer bottle in his hand, full or empty. I never cared. My mum never drank, and she and I did everything together. Dad never hurt anybody, and he was always there when I really needed him.  His breath was never fresh, but I though that is just how every dad's breathe smelt like. Peanuts and beer.

We lived in a small house, surrounded by trees, far out from the city. Mum said she loved connecting with nature, and I learned to do the same. I never liked watching television, and books where never an interest of mine. The woods where my life and I could climb every single tree there was to see. I had picnics with my dolls out in the forest and at nights, sometimes when my mother wasn't tried, we would sleep out in a tent, and giggle ourselves to sleep.

Ilana means great tree. My mother named me it even before I was born. It suited me perfectly. Through my whole life.

Which, go figure, didn't last quite as long as we all expected it too.

I was playing outdoors with my friend, Juliann. My dad had promised to drive her home. But I knew that when Daddy drunk, it was not safe to drive.

"Daddy, I think Juliann should just stay here for a while. You're not fit to get into the car." I notified my red faced father. I felt smarter then I really should have been, but I knew a lot for my age, and didn't want to hold it all in.

"I think I know when I am fit to drive and when I am not, thank you miss." He hissed at me, taking another sip from his beer.

"Beer's a sin, daddy. I told you that. Stop drinking." I sat down, is skirt getting caught in my feet.

"Don't, little miss." My dad got beat red in the face, and I backed away. Juliann told me she wasn't sure about going home; she didn't know my father was drink. She just though he was mad at her. I told her he was only mad at me, not her. She shrugged and got her bag.

I had never seen my father so wildly drunk before. My mother was out in the woods, taking our dog Sammie for a walk. She said that when dad got drunk like this, to call for her. I went out to the back steps of the house and screamed

"Mother! Daddy's really drunk."

I figured later that was the wrong thing to do. I felt a hand grab my shoulder and push me back inside.

"Daddy…" I stumbled back into Juliann, who was sobbing.

"Get in the car." My father was as anger as a mob of bees. I took a step away from him.

"No dad." I stood up for Juliann as best as I could.

My father did something I could never imagine him doing, ever. He growled, went over to me, and picked me up around the waist. I began to cry out, and punch him several times in the side. He didn't let go. My father was never an average weight man. But he was never considered to me, overweight. But when he picked me up, I thought he was the strongest man in the world.

"Dad put me down!"

He didn't listen to me. He began walking to the car. The keys rattled in his left hand, as he held me in his right.

My mother came in next, caught by my shrills and screams, from before and after. She saw my father almost at the car, and she left out an ear piecing scream.  

"My holy lord!" She wailed, running out the front door, which my father had left wide open. He began shoving me in the back seat.

"Mary, this girl," My father slammed the door, his words slurring, "Needs to lean a lesson. "

"Dick, you get back here. You do not take our daughter out when you are in this state!"

I thought my mother was talking about the way my father was dressed. Baggy jeans, fly undone, and a halve buttoned up striped green shirt.

"Mother!" I pounded threw the window. I didn't think about opening the door. I felt as thought I was endlessly trapped, and could never even imagine to escape.

My mother began to run towards the car, but my father locked the doors as she grabbed on to the passenger seat door. She began pounding on the windows as my father starred the engine, I was so scared, and I couldn't catch my breath. I stared up at the front door, and my friend, who was so unsure of what was going on, was pale and sobbing. I only thought about her, not about the condition I was in. My father put his foot on the execrator. He car speed forwards, toughing me forwards and my mother away form the car.  My father and I had both forgot our seat beats.

The radio blasted on, and my father didn't bother to turn it down.

The speeds my father reached where unimaginable for me. My mother, the only one who I ever got in the car with, only drove at a reasonable 60 miles per hour even on the endless empty roads that took us form our house to the city.

But today there where quite a few cars on the road. It was Sunday evening and I wondered where they where all going.  

My crying was just an endless noise, droning in with the loud music and the hum of the speed of the car. My father pressed his hand on the horn as she passed a slow old lady, who was going the average 70 miles per hour. She gave him a stern look, but thought nothing of it. My father just barley missed another car coming form the opposite side of the road. It honked swerved to miss my father. We made it. I was sobbing more loudly then the music now.

"Shut up, little miss." My father screamed, his eyes leaving the road, and he swerved, but quickly rejoined his posture and continued driving at high speeds. The next car we tried to pass was when we where hit. My father began to pass this couple, who looked like they where singing together form a song that was on the radio. He screamed at them and the man put up his middle finger. My father was driving right next to the couple. I saw the car coming, but my father did not. I screamed for him to turn, but his eyes where fixed on the man beside him. The impact of the crash sent me flying into the windshield. The glass shattered threw my skin and I screamed, but that only filled my mouth with more sharp objects.

That was all I could remember. Nothing else.


	2. Chapter 2: Nothingness

There is a thin line between heaven and earth. A line which holds nothing and consists of nothing. It was the line I dangled from.

The only colour I could see was black. It was so black, I could feel the colour on my skin, I could taste the nothingness on my tongue, and I could breathe the emptiness into my lungs. I felt as thought I was surrounded by an object, or several objects, not a colour.

Then all the answers came to me. All the answers in the world. The questions I had asked in the past, and had no response to, I knew the answers. I knew the unanswered questions of the universe, and some questions I couldn't imagine could be possible.

With this knowledge, I wanted to speak. But no words came out. It wouldn't have mattered anyways; no one was there to listen. I could not have found a worst time to know all there was to know.

So I waited. The moments seemed endless, and the thoughts in my mind grew old and unworthy. I wanted nothing else but to escape this horrid place and continue on, with either life or death, whatever I was doomed to.

Death was my first guess, and I was correct. After what seemed to be days of emptiness, I heard a sweet voice, as pure as honey.

"You lost, sweet?"

I tried to nod, answer, or do anything to tell the voice "Yes! Yes! Come help me, I am so alone!" But I could not voice or make a sound.

"Come here." And I felt hands rise me up, and out of the darkness. It was as thought I was sitting in a dark box all the time, and all I needed to do was stand and open the top.

Light hurt my eyes as I opened then, and my legs and arms felt sore and tired, as thought I had been running the whole time.

The woman who picked me up had a beautiful white dress on, with her golden blonde hair up in white flowers, and her smile shone.

"What's your name, newcomer?" The woman asked.

"Ilana." I responded, finding my voice at last.

"What a pretty name, Ilana. " The angel smiled. I tried to smile to, but I could not find a happy face.

There where many people in Heaven. Not crowed, it felt just perfect. I figured that was how it was suppose to be. Heaven I mean.

_Perfect. _

The air was fresh and sweet, and it smelled like flowers.

_Perfect._

The ground was wet with dew and the birds where out singing it the trees.

_Perfect._

It looked like, earth… only…

_Perfect. _

There was a group of kids, all in white dresses and cute white pants, playing with a hop and a stick. They laughed as the hop fell over, and a little boy picked it up and they continued to roll it again.

_Perfect. _

A cat walked by a little cottage, that was surrounded by flowers and trees, and an old woman came out, and feed it milk out of a bowl. The woman looked very old, but was very graceful and beautiful.

_Perfect. _

The woman who was holding onto me let me down gently. I stood up and looked down at myself. I was wearing a white dress, like the others, and no shoes. I loved being barefoot.

"Well, Ilana, do you want to come to my cottage for cookies and milk?" The woman asked. I smiled and nodded. She took my hand we walked.

When we arrived, I was almost in tears with joy. It was a house, almost like my own, with trees surrounding it, and the perfect size.

"Like it?" The woman asked.

"I love it!" I was bewildered.

We went in, and it felt perfect. The house was so bright and warm. The windows where all open and the birds pitched on them, whistling for some attention. 

I sat down at the kitchen table, basking in the light of the sun that clawed its way threw the drapes that swayed softly in the breeze.

The lady angel pulled out a fresh cartoon of milk and a tin of cookies that looked as thought they had not been touched. I took the two biggest ones I could find and started to drink my milk when she finally told me her name. 

"I haven't told to you my name, sweet." She commented, smiling sweetly at me. I sat up straight and nodded. "My name is Allyson."

It fit her perfectly. Allyson. Oh it was such a beautiful name!

"I see it fit to tell you my story, if you tell me yours, sweet." She smiled.

"It was my birthday bash, and I was turning thirty. I had a small quite party with my parents and sisters. My best friend was coming to pick me up to take me to a movie later on that night. My boyfriend was going to met us there. At ten my best friend drove up and I kissed my parents goodbye for the night. " She seemed really wanting to tell me this story, even though I had no asked. She was very involved with the plot, as thought she was reading me a story, not telling me about her death.  I nodded again and she continued.  

"The drive there was the thing that killed me. See the brakes where broken." Allyson sighed. 

I was shocked. It wasn't much different from the way I died then, except her was less violent. Her story made my eyes widen. I wondered why she was telling me this in such detail to a seven year old.

"My friend, Rosemary, lived, but she's in a wheel chair. When she freaked out, she drove us into the wall, and she hit against my side. I was never in the 'I am so mad at her, I must get back at her', no, I know she didn't mean it."

I asked her what would have happened if she blamed her friend for her death.

"Humans who die, and truly believe it was not their fault, and someone else's, they are not angels at rest. They roam around the earth, for decades, searching for a reason. But they are not able to communicate with anyone on earth, and can not hurt anyone."

"Why do humans believe they see unknown, picking objects up or hurting others?"

"Those are unknown spirits, left to roam the real world. Most of them were not allowed to enter heaven, for whatever reason, but where not damn enough for hell. They roam the earth in search of their reason for not getting into heaven."

I asked another question, while picking at my cookie. "Why do they hurt people?"

"They can not in any way harm a human, but they can make objects move. Not far, maybe just knock something down, but they can only do such things as long as no living creature is in harm. Humans rarely see the occurrences, but when they do, they usually enlarge the real story from what they actually saw." Allyson nodded to herself, as if to make sure her information was correct.

I, myself, had always believed in the ghosts that ran around in sheets and rattled chains. I was never afraid, I just believed in them. My mum had told me once that when she was out walking Sammie, our dog, that she saw a girl in a white dress, and my mother could see right threw the girl. My father told her that she was seeing things and must be delirious. My mother shook the idea of ever seeing the white clothed girl out of her head and never brought it up again.

"Miss Allyson?"

She raised her eyes to meet mine, and muttered, "Hmm?"

"I miss my mummy."

It was the first time I had called my mother mummy. I had always called her mother, or Mary. My father was always a daddy to me, but I loved to call my mum, Mother. I just suited her. But right then, I felt so overcome with saddens, I just let out whatever I was going to say, And that happened to be Mummy.

"I know you do sweet, but would you like me to take care of you up here?" Alyson reached out and took my shaking hands in her own.

I nodded, and sniffled, a few tears running down my face.

"That's a god girl."

Dinner was followed by my favorite game of cards, go fish.

"Got any fours?" Allyson smiled, her eyes rising.

"No go fish." I giggled, and pushed the top card on the pile towards her.

"Got any….queens?" I asked.

"Oh, your good." She whispered, her head ducked low beneath the cards, her smile creeping up to met with the ends of the card edges.

"I know." I hot my hand on the table, laughing again, as she threw me the black queen of spades.

"I win!" I layed down my last two cards, and we counted up our pairs. Of course, as I said, I had won.

"What a good player you are." Allyson cooed at me. I straightened up, and grinned playfully.

"I learnt from the best."

"Who?"

"My dad…" My face feel. I just released, for the first time in a while, why I was sitting her and not playing with my real family.

"Ilana, I'm-"Allyson started, reaching for my hand, but I took it back and my eyes filled with tears.

"Is he dead?"

"Who, sweetie?" Allyson asked.

"My dad. Did he die when we drive into the other car too?"

Allyson's face developed into a mess of wrinkles as she scrunched up her nose and cheeks. "No… He did not. He broke his arm, and broke both his legs. His chest was burnt from the airbag. He's still in the hospital. They think that he will make a perfect recovery."

"He's ok?" I asked, again, to make sure.

"Yes, he will be fine." Allyson paused. "Want to go to bed now?"

I nodded and we go up.

I had my own room, looking out to the sky and trees. I felt at home, and my bed was so comfy I feel asleep instantly.


	3. Chapter 3: The Nightmare

When I awoke, Allyson was not in the house. I got changed, from clothes in a small drawer that was in my room, and began my search for her.

It did not take long for me to find her. In fact, she called out to me while I was searching the kitchen.

"Ilana!" I heard my name. I opened the front door and smiled.

"Hullo, Miss Allyson."

Allyson was knee deep in mud, planting all the most beautiful flowers.

The colours where so bright, I could not take my eyes off them.

"Aren't they amazing?" breathed Allyson, brushing some hair out of her face, that had fallen out of her ponytail. 

I was too stunned for words. I just dropped my jaw and joined Allyson on the ground.

"They don't grow on earth," Allyson pulled out some brilliant violet flowers with petals the size of my hand, from the dirt they originally came in. Then she pushed them into the hole she had made into the ground and patted new damp earth around the plant.

"What to help me?"

I helped her for the rest of the morning and that afternoon we went for a walk around the forest.

That night, I feel asleep soundly.

But I dreamt horribly.

I dreamt of my mum, and my dad.

"Dick." My mother sobbed, sitting next to my father who was sleeping in a hospital bed. My dad had heart monitors on, and he was bandaged up.

My father turned his head and awoke.

"Mary…" he coughed. His voice sounds so old and sore, I wanted to cry out to him.

"Dick…are you alright?"

I did not know why my mother asked this, it was obvious he was beyond alright. But my father smiled gently to her and raised his hand, twitching in pain, and placed it on her hand.

"I'll make a full recovery." He replied. His head shook a little, but my mother didn't notice. Her eyes where filled with tears.

"Dick…" My mother mumbled.

"Is Ilana alright?" My father asked suddenly. I was surprised he asked this. I would have thought he knew already.

"Well…" My mother stumbled, trying to find the words. 

"Have you seen her? Is she in the hospital? Oh, dear lord I hope she's not hurt." My father raised his eyes to the ceiling.

"Dick…" My mother tried to calm him. But my father interrupted her and began to shake.

"She's alright, isn't she?" He seemed beyond grief now. "She's isn't hurt? I couldn't live if I hurt her."

"Dick, I'm sorry… It wasn't your fault." Tears covered my mother's face, and shone like diamonds. 

"She's….gone?" His voice was light.

"Yes…" My mother held back a long sob she wanted so badly to let go.

"She can't be…she was only seven Mary… only seven…" My dad had tears in his eyes. I had never seen my father cry before.

"It's alright, Dick, she's with God, at a better place…" My mother gasped her voice tight.

"When's the funeral?"

"When you get out…" My mother was gasping.

"Mary, how could I do this? How could I be so foolish with our baby girl?"

"Dick, no-"  
"Our only baby girl….Ilana….Oh our baby."

What my dad did after that was unimaginable. He turned to my mother and screamed at her, "Mary!" His eyes glazed over and her face went red. His hand shook as he stared at her.

He grabbed on to my mother neck, a tight hold, as if he wished to choke her. He did not finch from the wounds, and did not sound as if he was in any more pain.  My mother sat as still as stone, her face whiter then marble. She did not try and stop him.

"You bring me back my daughter…." He muttered with his voice low and deep.

"Excuse me?" A doctor came in, clipboard in hand, glasses low on the nose.

"He's fine." My mother preyed his finger form her throat, as if it was no big deal, and my father grunted.

The doctor eyed my father, as his face went from red slowly back to pink.

I awoke. My bed was soaked threw with sweat.

Mumbling to myself, I got up, and walked out of my room. I soon found Allyson's room, and, just as I would have done with my own mother when I had a bad dream, I crawled in close to her, and feel asleep.

Allyson smiled as she felt my arms wrap around her, and kept me warm that chilly night.       


	4. Chapter 4: Watching The Sky

Two days passed, as the dream of my father and mother still haunted along with me. Allyson was worried about me, but I told her I was fine. Memories flooded my mind, and tears found their way to my cheeks. It felt like the hardest days of my lives.

On the first day, I sat inside, staring out in window behind my bed, watching the flowers grow. The big, unforgettable colours flooded my eyes. The sorrow of losing my life was lumped close in my throat, trying to make its way out. Each sob I took, it felt as thought I was choking. I gasped for air. Allyson came in the room at nightfall, watching me struggle for breath, and coaxed me, and rubbed my back till I could finally keep my breathing at a regular pace. I feel asleep in her arms.

One the second day, I awoke late, yet, with no clocks or notion of time, I was not sure how late it really was. I smelt egg and bacon, yet, without anything in my stomach from the day before, the smell made me feel sick, and I held my stomach and groaned.

I was surprised to feel such awful feelings in heaven. Yet, I was glad, for it made me feel alive. I always hoped heaven would be pain free and easy, but now I was glad that it was not.

I slept the remainder of the afternoon, for my head felt as if it was to explode. When I awoke, the stars where out, shinning like never before.

I got up and walked out of my room, holding a teddy bear that I had found in my arms when I awoke that morning. I opened the back door, and walked down the steps. I heard someone breathing. I stopped and looked around. There was Allyson, gazing up at the stars, lying delicately on a blanket. Her eyes where reflecting the beauty of the luminosity above her, as she turned and looked at me.

"Come lay with me." Her eyes danced and her smile brightened my heart, finally making me feel less nauseous.

I sat next to her, feeling the warmth of the evening. I felt her hands on my hips and I slid down to lay my head next to hers. I had never felt as safe as I did at that minute.

"Miss Allyson, why are the stars shinning so brightly?"  

"There not stars, Ilana," her voice was milky and sweet, "They're planets, and universes."

I looked up, watching the colours fill the deep sky. As I watched carefully, each one had a different size, and where moving.

"See?" Allyson pointed above, to a red planet, "That's Saturn."

I nodded and smiled.

We sat, talking, for countless hours. I had never felt so alive. Allyson explained so much to me, I felt filled with knowledge once again. Heaven seemed so much more interesting then earth.

I finally brought up the question I had tried to find the answer for myself, "What one's earth?"

Allyson pointed straight ahead of us. I sighed.

Earth was a small, blue, green sphere, circling softly in the sky above us. Light patched of white, clouds, hovered gently above areas. A small, rock shaped object circulated around it. The moon.

"Do you miss it?" I asked Allyson.

It took her a while to answer. Her blonde hair caught the light of the sparking object above us, and her smile was let loose, leaving a stern frown in replacement.

"I'm not sure, to say the truth." She sighed, her eyes never leaving Earth, "I miss the feeling of someone who loves you. I miss the feeling of wind on your face, and the feeling of losing. The smell of my mother's sweet apple pies and the laughter of my sisters. There are a lot of things I miss, Ilana, on Earth. Yet, I know there is no turning back, and once again living the way I used to. That feeling has sat with me so much; I'm used to the feeling. Now I don't know what it would feel without it. "

I felt as thought I knew exactly what she was saying, yet I had no clue. I let her finish.

"Heaven's not that bad, once you get used to the life you must live with now. The life you will live with for eternity."

Sniffling, I buried my head in her soft chest, and hugged her tight. I felt as thought she was mother.

"I don't want to loose anyone, ever again." I whispered, my eyes filled with water.

"You won't." She promised, kissing my forehead.

"I don't want to loose you." I told her.

"Nor I, you." A smile tugged at the corners of her red lips, "And I promise, I will always be there for you. Forever."

"Forever." I muttered back.

Allyson sighed and closed her eyes. She soon began to sing, her voice lighter then air, and her words sweeter then honey. I feel into a light sleep, listening to her words.           


End file.
